Divorced male members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are now required to obtain permission from the First Presidency before being sealed to a second wife. Most couples tried going to counseling to support orsave their marriage, but perhaps not to the degree we would expect: Note: The definition of what qualified as counseling support is unique for those surveyed and, in the course of the survey, seemed to be open to interpretation. As one historian explained regarding the 20th-century Churchs approach to plural marriage: [Page 54]As time passed, fewer and fewer Mormons came to identify personally with polygamy. Those who experience a divorce need a lot of support from others to help manage those high levels of stress. Another shared a similar experience: They stopped inviting me to every activity, shopping trip, dinners, everything. In December 2013, the LDS Church published an essay titled, Plural Marriage and Families in Early Utah, accessed January 20, 2014, https://churchofjesuschrist.org/topics/plural-marriage-and-families-in-early-utah?lang=eng. . My wife and I, for example, would explain to our children about their own ancestors from the time when they were able to understand. It is not my place to advise Church leaders on how to handle this problem and, therefore, these suggestions should be seen as suchsimple suggestions that might help. If you worry that being supportive somehow condones something you don't approve of, remember that showing love does not mean you are condoning something. This is particularly true if they have been faithful in Church activity and have prayed fervently for a resolution to marital problems. If this is the only thing that is causing all this polygamy angst why not just accept that it is NOT a requirement to have multiple wives in heaven and let it go at that? The manual emphasized that plural marriage should not be the focus of the lesson. On the positive side, unlike earlier Sunday School manual referred to, the online version of the latest Sunday School manual includes an explanation and discussion points about plural marriage. For example, this topic is probably not as important to African or Asian Saints as it is to those living along the Wasatch Front. 68. Survey Reveals What It's Really Like to Be Divorced in Heres how a new speaker series can help you find it: Temples are some of the most beautiful places on earth, but the work that takes place inside of them is what makes them sacred. They likely dont know what to do or say. I need you home to baptize me.". While there were a variety of ways people first learned about plural marriage, about 42% of respondents said they learned from their family.35. [Page 67]Their sacrifice, etc., involving the practice was in vain and for a false principle??? 46. This will help you examine your own behavior and see things more accurately. Temples are some of the most beautiful places on earth, but the work that takes place inside of them is what makes them sacred. Alternately, Todd D. Compton, in an essay in the same volume, 184232, titled, Early Marriage in the New England and Northeastern States, and in Mormon Polygamy: What Was the Norm? argues that such age gaps between marriage partners were unusual, but because his analysis relies on New England marriage patterns rather than those of the frontier, I do not believe he has rebutted the perspective offered by Foster, Keller, and Smith. For the very first time, I am seeing outright no in response to will there be celestial polygamy. Since the time of the Manifesto, there has been suspicion that Latter-day Saints still practice plural marriage.15 Rumors and stereotyping of secret Mormon polygamous marriages have continued to the present, as news commentators and political pundits alike misconstrue and misrepresent LDS history and doctrine. Our Father in Heaven loves His children. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. As the discussion grew heated, one group member observed in a private e-mail to another, Most of those who did not agree with the reinterpretation of whether or not plural marriagewill be practiced in the Celestial Kingdomhave been hammered into submissive silence by louder voices and the powers that be.59 Near the end of the online discussion, one of the men answered a woman who adamantly expressed her belief that plural marriage would not be a requirement or even a possibility in the celestial kingdom. The book discusses women and divorce, men and divorce, children and divorce, dating again, blended families, remarriage, marriage counseling, and so on. Counsel with your quorum president, bishop, or stake president and consider professional counseling, such as with LDS Family Services, if available. From that point on, the respondent was okay with it. I commuted between Provo and Salt Lake City and enjoyed visiting with other regular commuters, [Page 62]all of whom were active members of the Church. John C. Bennett, The History of the Saints; or, an Expos of Joe Smith and Mormonism (Boston: Leland & Whiting, 1842). More My unhappy family history will not be passed on" (Elder David S. Baxter, "Finding Hope in a Troubled Family," August 2015 New Era). These negative feelings increased when confronted with criticism of the Church on the subject of plural marriage. Another example of anti-Mormon accusations of adulterous polyandry can be found at LDSFreedom.org, Polyandry & Joseph Smith, accessed October 12, 2011, http://www.ldsfreedom.org/node/7. not true. One divorcee noted, Friends outside church did not treat me like a sinner for getting a divorce. lds The separation before the actual divorce can often be even more embittered. Would a menace make a good Bishop? The sister missionary was giving the tour to what appeared to be a non-member family and me. Unfortunately, such an outcome is not the case for Latter-day Saints and their polygamous history. . ?58, The discussion by e-mail continued back and forth between those who believed that plural marriage was a celestial principle and those who either did not believe or at least questioned whether it was indeed something that would be practiced in the Celestial Kingdom. I told them I would be glad to answer any question they had. It is within this milieu of multifarious information and misinformation that modern members of the Church are placed. As one woman noted, speaking of her Latter-day Saint friends, [I had] great support from my friends, who were divorced as well.. The important thing to remember is that Heavenly Father loves all of you and wants the best for you, both now and in eternity. Thirty-five percent of the sample (includes all religious affiliations) who had originally married civilly were either currently divorced or remarried. Unfortunately, he believed me, and it took a little bit of explaining for him to finally believe I had been joking and that members of the LDS Church no longer practice plural marriage.18, Other members of the Church have recounted anecdotal evidence of the widespread perception of polygamy among mainstream Mormons. The author would like to thank Suzanne L. Foster, Brian C. Hales, Laura Hales, and Gregory L. Smith for their help with this paper. Ponder what kind of support you have been, are, and can be to those you know in the Church who have experienced or are experiencing a divorce. The Lord still loves you and will always be there to support you.. [Page 74]. If a couple in your ward gets divorced, or a young missionary returns home early, or a teenager doubts his testimony, they do not need your judgment, he warned. 32. All are alike unto God, and He invites all to come unto him and partake of his goodness (2 Nephi 26:33).Church leaders and members are often asked who can attend meetings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, who can become Church members, and who can attend a Copyright 2023 Deseret News Publishing Company. 37. One survey respondent wrote, Inadvertently finding out the truth about polygamy/polyandry absolutely devastated me.42 Another complained about Joseph Smith shacking up with women for years and then wrote, I am glad I discovered the truth about dirty Joes polyandry. I am much happier as a saved Christian outside the vile, lying Mormon cult.43, Discovery of Joseph Smiths polyandrous marriages can be a traumatic experience. What can Latter-day Saints do to be more supportive of divorced members? They said they had asked other Mormons about plural marriage and had been met with embarrassment, silence, and awkwardness.67 I was sorry for both them and the members who had not known how to gracefully react to honest curiosity. Lets dive into the New Testament and see what we can learn about the efforts of the original apostles to maintain a full quorum. Church Participation. This brings up another matter that needs to be addressed: missionaries at Church historical sites must be taught how to discuss the topic of Mormon polygamy because it is inevitable it will be brought up by curious visitors. Plural marriage continued to be practiced in the open until the anti-polygamy persecution of the 1880s and the issuance of the Manifesto in 1890. An acquaintance of mine, married in the temple 25 years ago, four children and an active member in the LDS church was recently divorced for having an In all my life I've never known of a Bishop who had been divorced. At the time, Elder Cook's father was a less-active member and thought Elder Cook's older brother, Joe, should pursue a career in the medical field instead of serving a mission. The survey on plural marriage was titled Your Feelings About Plural Marriage and was conducted at SurveyMonkey, located at https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/GQZSTGR between September 16 and October 20, 2011. It was a journey that almost ended in disaster. Newell G. Bringhurst, Where Have All of Brigham Youngs Wives Gone? 26. Any righteous, willing, and worthy man may be bishop regardless of his marital status. Of those who were aware, thirty percent had learned from a family member while almost ten percent learned from sources critical of the Church.39. That is a significant number. This implies that population and marital status adjusted, Muslims are more likely to be divorced than Hindus, and Muslim women take up almost the entire burden of this difference. (You didn't see President Hinckley rushing off to get married after the death of his wife Marjorie, right?). E-mail correspondence between [anonymous] and Craig L. Foster, August 14, 2011. While this survey was intended only for those of a Latter-day Saint background, at least two respondents identified themselves as non-Mormons. Most of these people, however, are just trying to find a way to react to something that is so contrary to accepted marriage patterns. Plural marriage has proven to be a prime weapon because a little of the truth can be devastating. By the end of these few decades, a number of members had doctrinally and physically separated themselves from the body of the Church because they continued to teach and practice plural marriage. "This letter is an internal document. Commitment to the Covenant: LDS Marriage and Divorce Divorce was more prevalent in the early Church. Brigham Young had a well publicized divorce. During a conversation regarding Mormon history, I mentioned in passing that Joseph Smith had plural wives. Just do your best. The period between the separation and actual divorce can seem nebulous and interminable. Craig L. Foster, Like Two Crazy Aunts in the Attic: Latter-day Saints and Popular Polygamy Stereotypes, Foundation for Apologetic Information and Research, accessed January 20, 2014, http://www.fairmormon.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/2010-Craig-Foster.pdf. The missionary told how Brigham Youngs wife would keep house, and I naturally wondered which wife, so I asked.
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