We all wish good things to happen to us, but we cannot just pray and then sit down and expect miracles to happen. To be fashionable and to seem better than I really am is a spiritual illness. Founded in 1951, Al-Anon is a support organization for the friends and family members of those struggling with an alcohol use disorder (AUD). Al-Anon is where we can practice kindness to ourselves. When I focus on myself, I can be more accepting of others. I even thought about it that morning, not knowing what would happen later in the day. I would pick one paragraph and work on just that part, like no criticism or judgement and doing something for someone and not get found out, so far I have not mastered that one.Read more . If I refrain from trying to control, my own ride becomes a little slower and a little straighter. It seems almost too simple to be true, but accepting that alcoholism is a chronic disease and not a personal failure is the key to achieving long-lasting recovery. I cant control their choices, their perceptions, their decisions, or the consequences of their actions. Through the gift of Al-Anon I have turned my life around. Take what you liked and leave the rest. I can Keep An Open Mind But, it felt like a little light found its way into the darkness in my mind.Read more , In practicing acceptance, I first acknowledge that I want things to be different. Im glad this is the topic for the month. This is self care, we learn to let go of burdens we were never meant to carry. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. You will find a whole new experience with it! With an alcoholic wife and two kids experimenting with drugs, Ive often felt like my life was careening out of control. You can find out more about our use, change your default settings, and withdraw your consent at any time with effect for the future by visiting Cookies Settings, which can also be found in the footer of the site. I am grateful I no longer have tunnel vision and am open to change. 2019. Fear and self-pity are two other emotions that prevent acceptance and peace of mind. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinksdrinks which they see others taking with impunity. Be the first to learn about new releases! You can replace negative thinking/behaviour with positive, healthy responses. I finished my short presentation and put myself on mute. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. Am I heard the Serenity Prayer at the beginning of the meeting, and I used it over and over until I started to get a minuscule amount of peace. It turns what we have into enough, and more. I am saying that I know better than God. Learn to live with the dis-ease that comes when you stop something and practice new behavior, the feelings will pass. In other words, relinquish your control, realize your limitations, and face reality (that you have an alcohol problem) is the most important step towards recovery. I dont live with anRead more . Sometimes we try something new and it doesn't work out for us, that's ok too, just try something different. It took me a long time to realize that there are lots of things besides alcoholism that Im powerless over. Bring The Body and The Mind Will Follow. Tools: Listen and Learn 9. My Sponsor is one of the biggest tool, through her unconditional love helps meRead more . We dont have to act on our feelings, we can look at them and let them pass. EGO: A.A. and acceptance have taught me that there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we are all children of God and we each have a right to be here. LOVE: Insanity is doing the same things over an expecting different results. Serenity is not the absence of turmoil but the ability to deal with it. Hungry So I got back to Step 1 and realize with certainty that I am powerless over alcohol and that my life has become unmanageable. Already Permalink . Acceptance of Alcoholism This short passage about acceptance may be one of the most quoted passages in recovery literature. When I blame someone else for something, I give up my power to them. On Keeping it Simple: That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Changing. An Expectation Is A Resentment Waiting To Happen, 22. Youre in this place like this place in the world, and youre surrounded by people who will do anything to help you. By Buddy T Listen And Learn - or watch bridges burn - Keep An Open Mind, - Now it's your turn - Is your serenity worth it - Just, Fake It 'Till You Make It! Anger can be constructive in telling me that someone else is stepping on some boundaries that I need to enforce. When I admitted that there were people, places, things, and situations over which I was totally powerless, those things began to lose their power over me. These are great. Thus these three Legacies helps me to find acceptance. Unless we have first judged and condemned them for what they did, there would be no reason for us to forgive them. Learning daily to spot, admit, and correct these flaws is the essence of character-building and good living. So many of us will reject help because we do not like the package that the help comes in, but you have to learn to accept those things. The Serenity Prayer is the best tool for me. Buddy Tis an anonymous writer and founding member of the Online Al-Anon Outreach Committee with decades of experience writing about alcoholism. Read our, How the Sinclair Method for Alcohol Addiction Recovery Works, Loving Someone With Alcohol Use DisorderDos and Dont's, Dry January: The Benefits of a Month Without Alcohol, What to Expect From Drug and Alcohol Rehab Programs, Coping With Nausea from Alcohol Withdrawal, Sleep Problems Associated With Alcohol Misuse, The Risks of Using Alcohol to Relieve Anxiety, Warning Signs of an Alcohol or Drug Relapse, Daily Tips for a Healthy Mind to Your Inbox, Treating alcoholism as a chronic disease: approaches to long-term continuing care, Strong predictors for alcohol recidivism after liver transplantation: non-acceptance of the alcohol problem and abstinence of< 3 months, Benefits of peer support groups in the treatment of addiction, Treatment for Alcohol Problems: Finding and Getting Help, Emotional and rational disease acceptance in patients with depression and alcohol addiction. I was so upset it was the middle of a 3 hour meeting and I didnt know quite what to do. I threatened, scolded, manipulated, coerced, pleaded, begged, bribed and generally tried all I could to make the situation better -- only watch as the situation grew progressively worse. I was in a hurry to get this healing process over. If you think of what you want for another as something you cant be okay without its an addiction. How do I practice acceptance when I wish things were different? Just For Today, Intelligent, I won't." All comments enter moderation, which may take up to ten business days. Other signs of emotional non-acceptance may include feelings of anger or shame regarding the development of alcoholism. To seek prestige and wealth is the ultimate goal for many in the modern world. Your email address will not be published. Rather we would have to forgive ourselves for judging. An expectation is a premeditated resentment. I look in the indexes for words such as acceptance, detachment, and forgiveness then read all of the entries listed. It involves giving God our assets, too., to provide ourselves with a place to express these feelings where we will receive the support and encouragement we need,, Therefore, they are not necessarily the best basis for decision-making. Acceptance sets me free, free from worry, free from pain and hurt, free from fear. 16. Anytime I am really suffering over a situation, its because I am trying to control things that are beyond my control. THINK: is it? How Important Is It? Learn how your comment data is processed. Discover an assortment of the most cherished and inspiring quotes related to Acceptance Al Anon. 6 0 obj Thank God my sister knew who I was before she went on her final journey. This short passage about acceptance may be one of the most quoted passages in recovery literature. www.phonemeetings.org You Can Change Yourself, You Can Cure Yourself 3 A's ~ Awareness, Acceptance, Action . We dont struggle. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.". That helped me change my attitude about the problem. Sharing in meetingsRead more . We feature speakers from Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Al-Anon Family Groups. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained. A.S. Roche Depression is Anger Toward Inward. We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped. At times I am afraid of my own feelings if I dont get in there and try to control.. what if? Thoughtful. Otherwise, we risk seriously diminishing our credibility and diminishing our own self-esteem., Wed love your help. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt. Just for Today 14. I can only love myself as much as I believe I am lovable. The difference between pity and compassion pity elevates me, compassion is empathy for anothers humanness. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while. The chapter was written by Dr. Paul Ohliger, who died Friday, May 19, 2000, in Mission Viejo, California at the age of 83. Second to that are the Slogans. Would I rather be Right or would I rather be HAPPY. He's become my best friend. It's from the 4th edition of Alcoholics Anonymous or The Big Book as it is widely known. I WILL STRETCH & STRENGTHEN MY BEAUTIFUL BODY. Learn how your comment data is processed. We may not be able to determine which course to take. We must back up our prayers with action., In attempting to protect ourselves, we let our personalities slip away until we were emotionally numb. I can only control myself and my own reactions. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. <> When my mind wants to burst Mark H.s book: A Twelve Step Journey to Self-Transformation, Larcene and Mary Pearl Al Anon Speakers The Answer is Acceptance. Al-Anon Family Groups, Courage to Change-One Day at a Time in AlAnon II: Part 1 6 likes Like "We are asked to forgive those who have injured us. What it does mean is I am powerless to do anything about it and I have to accept that fact. Then, after acceptance of your powerlessness, you can move forward with changing what you can (what is within your realm of control). Please share your experiences by commenting on the topic below. Step 6 Be willing, Be ready and let God do the work Acceptance was the beginning of my recovery. On God, Prayer, and Meditation: What I heard in my first meeting over 30 years ago was the beginning of hope for me. We will love you until you can love yourself. At that time I didnt think I was worth the air I breathed. This month were asking you to share on the question, How do I practice acceptance when I wish things were different?. This month were asking you to share on what AlAnon tools help you to find acceptance? In my early days in the program I thought acceptance was a kind of giving up; an admission of weakness or helplessness. This is what I feel. We seek to make our Higher Power a constant companion, turning to the God of our understanding for guidance and spiritual nourishment throughout the day and night., We actively pursue this goal when we say a prayer before answering the phone or take a moment to listen for that still small voice inside us before making a decision, even a minor decision. Willingness = a readiness to change ones perception. Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. What was a turning point in your Al-Anon recovery? That's a big change for someone who used to come to in the morning feeling sentenced to another day of life. Steps 4-9 bring recovery.. Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesnt work. He or she can provide you with a treatment referral and determine whether medication is an option for you. I find hope and courage when Anger Is Just One Letter Short Of Danger, 17. 4 Ms = martyrdom, manipulating, managing and mothering "A's pick up the bottle alanons pick up people.". I repeat it over and over focusing on changing myself and accepting what I cant change-other people, places, and things. as Facebook, Twitter, or your personal blog. It helped me see how critical I was of my alcoholic and how my criticism was an attempt to change him. By Barbara S., Kansas. I cant believe Im still here after all thats changed in my life, but I am and thats due to my HP and Al-Anon. I had first to come to term with the fact that there were things I could not change and that fighting, struggling and refusing their realities were just making me unreasonable, frustrated and out of sort.Read more . Awesome kitty. ~, HELP ~ Help/Heal Ourselves/Others Purge Emptiness, HALT(S) ~Hungry Anxious/Angry Lonely TiredSick or Honestly Actively Lovingly Tolerant, ANGER ~ A Negative Grudge Endangers Recovery, THINK ~ THOUGHTFUL HONEST INTELLIGENT NECESSARY KIND THANK HEAVEN I NOW KNOW, HEART ~ Healing Enjoying And Recovering Together, HOPE ~ Happy Our Program Exists ~ healing/helping ourselves purge emptiness, JADE ~ (dont) Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain, DETACH ~ dont ever think about changing him/her&/or dont even try and change others, "My serenity is proportionate to my acceptance. Even though my little human mind cannot figure out what the outcome will be, I am confident that whatever comes will be for my ultimate good. Growing Up in a Alcoholic Home: The serenity prayer helps me find acceptance. Easy Does It ~ Keep It Simple ~ How Important Is It? I also attended many meetings early in my recovery to listen to the winners and learn about how they worked their Al-Anon program. The CAL I had on hand Al-Anons blue book, Hope for Today and Courage to Change Daily Readers, Paths to Recovery and the Reaching for Personal Freedom workbook. Courage is fear that has said its prayers. Delve into our collection of the Let It Begin with Me 13. <. Lonely Welcome back. endstream Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. Take Accepting what I cannot change, and Letting Go and Letting God, gives me immense freedom, and liberates me from the discomfort I begin to feel when dealing with a difficult situation. Ellen C. Family Recovery Speaker Changing my attitude, changing my life (Funny! Serenity 2. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. On the Steps: When I share a problem with my group, I hear the answer in other peoples sharings and it is easier to find and accept the answer from my Higher Power, than if I had struggled to find the answer myself and second-guessed my solution. I discovered acceptance from the literature One Day at a Time, Hope for Today, and Courage to Change. ", "You can't control the wind but you can set your sails. Become aware of the thinking/behaviour that is a problem, Try to establish where you think it comes from and why. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation "some fact of my life" unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment., I have come to believe that hard times are not just meaningless suffering and that something good might turn up at any moment. It has been a while now. Or just leave a comment right here. Necessary. But it is clear that we make our own misery., I've been benefited from a dictionary definition I found that reads: "Rationalization is giving a socially acceptable reason for socially unacceptable behavior, and socially unacceptable behavior is a form of insanity., It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us., Every day I stand at turning points. I have His help and guidance to weather the storms and enjoy the beauty I had not seen before., We are powerless over anothers alcoholism. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery. Steps 6 & 7: 7 0 obj Steps 10-12 maintain it The same behavior that is intolerable to one person wont bother another person at all., Our personal limits, however, do not dictate a code of behavior for others., We might also pause before voicing these limits to be sure we are prepared to follow through. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); document.getElementById( "ak_js_2" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Both the Al-Anon literature and the Alcoholics Anonymous literature place a big importance on being able to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.